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Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey Get Off to Her Music Because That’s What Egomaniacs Do

Good news for those of you trying to curb your appetites and get an exercise in eye rolling. Nick Cannon ran his mouth about his sex life on Howard Stern’s inexplicably still-running radio show, and his and Mariah Carey‘s proclivities are just as narcissistic as you’d expect.

Stern told Cannon, “You’ve admitted to me on the air that you make love to Mariah’s music.” Cannon’s immediate reply? “Absolutely!”

Then it got even more irritating. Stern added, “And you masturbate to Mariah’s music.” Christ, did we really need this mental image? Cannon clarified, “When she’s not there.”

His song of choice? None other than Carey’s, er, uplifting anthem, ‘Hero.’ It’s okay, we’ll wait until you’re done dry heaving? Ready? Great!

Cannon’s explanation of his solo habit was somewhat less nauseating, telling the self-proclaimed King of All Media, “Sometimes you need to be reminded of what’s at home.” As for his collaborated efforts with Mimi, he insisted, “I mean, you’re married — that’s not like, the thing. Sometimes there’s special nights when you turn the music on, and sometimes it’s the morning and you turn around and get it poppin’.”

As for what Cannon thinks Carey would do if she walked in on him doing it himself to the sound of her voice?

“I think she’d be turned on by that.”

The world isn’t surprised. Disgusted, yeah. But not surprised. Now if you’ll excuse us, we feel like hope is gone.

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